Ever feel like you're being shit on... literally?
I went home for "lunch" the other day (lunch break, for me, is 4 pm -- I start my shift at noon). Our maintenance guy was there, working on something outside.
I wanted the house to myself, but nope, that wasn't going to happen.
I decided this was a bad idea... I know, I'll go to WalMart!
When I go to WalMart, I always park far away so that my car doesn't get dinged, and I can walk and enjoy the weather, burn some calories and get some movement. The place is huge.
I did my shopping, and walked back to the car.
I got back to my car and noticed some bird shit on the driver's side rear door. No big deal. I got in the car, put the key in the ignition, and looked out the windshield. I couldn't see anything. There was so much bird shit, it was as if someone had poured a bucket of white paint all over my car! It was revolting.
We live about 150 miles inland from the ocean. Seagulls gather in shopping plaza parking lots here. I see the gulls, and they have something, and they're dive-bombing my car! They drop a piece of whatever it is on my car. It's a chicken bone. Why were these gulls eating CHICKEN? Are they cannibals?!!
I start to open the door, to get out to pluck the bone off my car and toss it away. But then I noticed, there are 30 or more gulls, and they are fighting over the food!!! Hitchcock movie! If I had gotten out of the car, they probably would've pecked my eyes out.
I started the car and drove to the car wash, which is about five miles down Route 9, the main thoroughfare in this hick town. It's 5 p.m. rush hour, I realize, and there will be tons of people downtown, and lots of traffic. I don't want to be seen with a thousand pounds of guano on my car, so I take the back roads. It takes me around 20 minutes to get to the car wash -- normally a five minute drive.
I put my credit card into the hand-washing sprayer machine, and start it up. I spray off all the guano, and then I start trying to aim at the chicken bones which are lining the area where the windshield wipers reside. As I start spraying, I realize it's not just a couple of chicken bones... it's an entire Chinese dinner! It was disgusting! The more I aimed the forceful stream of water at it, the worse it got -- the food went inside my engine!
I had to open the hood, and pick out all the food with my hands! It was frigging GROSS. Ewwww. I ended up using the sleeve of my jacket. My coat had "flavored sauce" all over the sleeve after that. I took it off and threw it in the back of the car, but I could still smell it, for hours!
I never did end up eating "lunch" that day; and I got back to work at 6:30, coatless!! I washed my hands 50 times.
When I got home that night, I washed my coat.
I think it'll be a long time before I go to WalMart again. Maybe never.
I went home for "lunch" the other day (lunch break, for me, is 4 pm -- I start my shift at noon). Our maintenance guy was there, working on something outside.
I wanted the house to myself, but nope, that wasn't going to happen.
I decided this was a bad idea... I know, I'll go to WalMart!
When I go to WalMart, I always park far away so that my car doesn't get dinged, and I can walk and enjoy the weather, burn some calories and get some movement. The place is huge.
I did my shopping, and walked back to the car.
I got back to my car and noticed some bird shit on the driver's side rear door. No big deal. I got in the car, put the key in the ignition, and looked out the windshield. I couldn't see anything. There was so much bird shit, it was as if someone had poured a bucket of white paint all over my car! It was revolting.
We live about 150 miles inland from the ocean. Seagulls gather in shopping plaza parking lots here. I see the gulls, and they have something, and they're dive-bombing my car! They drop a piece of whatever it is on my car. It's a chicken bone. Why were these gulls eating CHICKEN? Are they cannibals?!!
I start to open the door, to get out to pluck the bone off my car and toss it away. But then I noticed, there are 30 or more gulls, and they are fighting over the food!!! Hitchcock movie! If I had gotten out of the car, they probably would've pecked my eyes out.
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| This is a picture I took of a gull, on Cape Cod, where they belong! |
I started the car and drove to the car wash, which is about five miles down Route 9, the main thoroughfare in this hick town. It's 5 p.m. rush hour, I realize, and there will be tons of people downtown, and lots of traffic. I don't want to be seen with a thousand pounds of guano on my car, so I take the back roads. It takes me around 20 minutes to get to the car wash -- normally a five minute drive.
I put my credit card into the hand-washing sprayer machine, and start it up. I spray off all the guano, and then I start trying to aim at the chicken bones which are lining the area where the windshield wipers reside. As I start spraying, I realize it's not just a couple of chicken bones... it's an entire Chinese dinner! It was disgusting! The more I aimed the forceful stream of water at it, the worse it got -- the food went inside my engine!
I had to open the hood, and pick out all the food with my hands! It was frigging GROSS. Ewwww. I ended up using the sleeve of my jacket. My coat had "flavored sauce" all over the sleeve after that. I took it off and threw it in the back of the car, but I could still smell it, for hours!
I never did end up eating "lunch" that day; and I got back to work at 6:30, coatless!! I washed my hands 50 times.
When I got home that night, I washed my coat.
I think it'll be a long time before I go to WalMart again. Maybe never.
Grooooooooooooooooooooss. Once a seagull crapped on my back. I thought my nephew had thrown a stone at me. I live by the sea though, so this is normal. My wife and my friend met each other when my wife saved my friend from a seagull attacking her for a sandwich.
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scruffy-duck.net // Welsh Bloggers
I wrote about Hitchcock for my first A to Z post. The Birds is a great movie, and thankfully Sir Alfred didn't show all the bird poop that would have rained down on his characters in that situation. My best friend got poop-bombed by a bird when we were kids. It was a bummer.
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